Both authors worked hard at accepting themselves as gay men who were Asian Americans, and interacting with others who were like them made it easier for them not only to acknowledge what they were, but also to date other men who were Asian-American.

One had to get over the inherent racism against those of their kind. With regard to their families and relatives, they have both managed to have two different identities, where they are heterosexuals, when they are with their families and religious acquaintances. On the other hand, they are also homosexuals to their colleagues in school and close friends who with time, now understand and accept them for who they are.

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